Mama

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.

Being a mom means your life belongs to another. All in a good way though. You learn to no longer be selfish.

I will be honest here, while I was pregnant, I did not realize so much of my time would revolve around my son. I knew I would cater to him most of the time but I still thought I would have more time to myself than I did. I thought I could still be a little selfish about what I want to do with my time and that just was not the case. I had family around that said they would help and I kind of went off what I saw on tv. So many moms of newborns were able to go out and have fun and just enjoy time to themselves. I thought mom life was going to be similar to that.


You just have these expectations and I am here to tell you, get rid of them!

We did have a lot of help since we had family so close by. Although there was family around to help and let me go out, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't go out, I couldn't leave my son, I couldn't even leave my son in another room with someone. I just finally realized that he came out of me. He is my life! I just could not give that up so easily. It was so hard for me to leave his side and I know that there are so many moms that have and will go through this. You are with this child from the moment they are born. You will do your skin to skin and breastfeed (or formula feed). You will watch them sleep and just keep looking at them thinking, "I actually gave birth to this little baby that is half of me"!

I mean just think about it, this child was inside you for 9 months and you felt their kicks, hick-ups, and movements. You cared for them since the moment you found out you were pregnant. You carried their weight and you gave birth to them, whether c-section or natural. You did that! For those that adopted or had surrogate, you may not have carried them but you still cared for them the moment you knew.




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PSA
Not every mom goes through this and that's ok. We all have different ways of handling something that is such a big change in our lives. I am just giving you my experience.
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I just, for some reason, could not imagine my son being away from me. However, I needed moments to myself.

I need every mom and/or dad to know this.

Take time for yourself. You need it for your sanity and your baby's sanity. If you do not take care of yourself, how can you take care of your child? I am not saying to just not being there, I am just saying go on a date, go to the grocery store alone, go take a walk, take a long hot shower/bath, read a book, play video games (more for dads), or hang out with a friend. Just do something for yourself, whatever it may be. You need it more than you will know. I felt like I didn't need it or deserve it because having a baby meant, my life was now his.

That is not true!

Again...

THAT IS NOT TRUE!

It's called self-care now. You need to take care of yourself. It can help with the postpartum, at least it did for me. Doing something for yourself is not selfish. It might seem like it at the time when you are doing it but I promise, you will feel better after. I know that one time will not make a huge difference but try doing something once a month that will just give you time to yourself for at least 30 minutes to an hour. Or more time if you need. 


The first time I took a self-care moment was when my son was 5 months! It was way overdue and it was amazing! I went to Universal with some of my girlfriends and it was the best. I just did not realize I needed that time to myself until that moment. I was going crazy being in the house with my son and being his milk supply every 1-2 hours. I was stressed and was not getting sleep. It was just a really rough beginning. 

Although I had fun, I felt so guilty being away. I wanted to make sure my son was still doing good but I also wanted to make sure I was having fun. I knew deep down, this would not happen again for a while. 

I was so jealous that my husband gets the chance to leave and go to work and interact with other adults. He was able to getaway. I did not want to get away but I wanted just those few minutes or hours, in this case. I wanted to just be me and not be the cow providing the milk with no conversation. 

In the end, it was all worth it. I learned to figure things out and learned that I could leave my son for a few moments with someone else and just shower, use the bathroom, go to the grocery store, or even have a quick lunch with a friend. There is nothing I would change about that first year with my son. I was able to be there every single day, every single moment for the entire first year. (Yes every moment, I was a SAHM for the first year). 

I hope this helps some moms out there. If you have any questions at all, I will answer them as best as I can!