First month being a mom of 2

I can not believe a month has gone by so fast. I can already say that so far, I am doing much better, mentally, than I did the first time around. 

Let's do a little flash back to baby 1. When I got home from the hospital with my first son. I was very overwhelmed. Of course, that is to be expected because I had no idea what I was doing. My husband was able to get time off work and be there for awhile to help. As most men, he slept through the night perfectly. I do not blame him nor am I mad about it. What could he have done, hold my boob? I did get frustrated though but it was because there was nothing he could do and he was enjoying the sleep I wish I was getting. In the hospital, my son slept so good. I stupidly thought he would be the same at home. He never slept! I was concerned for a moment though because even during the day he would not sleep. On top of no sleep, we were also living with my husbands family and he worked the 3rd shift. That did not help things at the time. Once my son was about 8 or 9 months, he started finally sleeping through the night and things started to look up. Overall, I went through postpartum because of the lack of sleep I was getting. 

I am doing things differently now. I worked out a plan to journal once baby 2 came. I wanted to narrow down the postpartum if it happens. I wanted to be able to see the signs ahead of time so that I can work on stopping it from going any further. The journal is also open to my husband to read so that he can see the signs in case I miss it. I plan to just be as positive as I can. 

Things being different this time around are helping me mentally as well. We are living in our own place and we were able to have things the way we want. This time around we can raise our kids the way we want to and not have anyone judge or tell us we are doing it wrong. I know parents mean well but let us make our own mistakes. I finally have the chance to raise my son and enjoy the good and the bad. I think that has gotten me back to a place that I am comfortable with. I have a whole new look on things this time. Grandparents will be grandparents but I want them to actually listen to what we have to say and the rules we make for our kids. That was the mistake with my oldest. I did not really know how to speak up for myself when it came to my in laws. I let things slide and just hoped that I could change things back. When it came to my parents, it was easy to speak up because they are my parents and I am comfortable being able to say something knowing it won't come off bad. 

So the first month has had it's ups and downs. The first 2 weeks were amazing. I was getting sleep! Not the normal amount of sleep but more than I got the first time around. My mom and sister came to visit for a week and that was the best! They helped to keep my oldest, Alrick, distracted so that I could feed and care for Kai, my youngest. Alrick needed the fun and I was so grateful for them. They helped us clean and my mom cooked my favorite meals! We even had plenty of left overs after they left. My husband has been doing so amazing with helping me get sleep, eat, and just relax. I have been able to have "me time" and loving it! I get time to read, watch a show, nap, or whatever I choose. Most of the time it's to take a quick nap or to read. The fact that I get to truly relax has been so helpful with keeping calm for my milk production. Kai has been gaining weight so nicely and the doctor told me I was doing really good for it just being breastmilk. I have been able to store some milk in the freezer as well. I need to pump more but I have some time for that. I have just been enjoying my boys. 

Since my mom and sister left, Alrick has been a bit bored. I delivered by C-section and it has been hard to do the activities he wants to do. Since Ricky had another week off (took 3 weeks off), he been able to play with him when I have Kai but a 3 year old does not get tired! I want to be able to take him to the park or some outdoor stuff. That is just also hard with COVID. He has gone outside to play with bubbles and water balloons. I just want him to have a bit more fun. Once I get the clear, it will be better for him. He has just been having a lot of alone play and I have been working with him on his learning. I got workbooks and found an education app he can use on his tablet. I also do some arts and craft stuff with him. So pretty much just anything that doesn't involve strenuous activities. With the times that he is not bored, he seems to want to act up. I thought we had patience but this is a whole new ball game. He just doesn't want to listen. We have been having a bit of a hard time with that. Neither one of us likes to raise our voices but it has come to that a little. We give him a little bit of a break though because this is all new to all of us. He loves his brother and he loves to help with anything that involves his brother. He honestly is a really great big brother already. We knew something would change once Kai was born. We are just giving him his time and hopefully things will get better. I also think once we get him in some type of activity, he will just tire himself out. His sleeping as also been a bit of an issue. He does not want to sleep in his room anymore. Every night there is an issue getting him to bed. He just seems to make this huge production out of it and it is hard! I feel bad and I understand but it is also very over the top. Either way, I stay and comfort him until he falls asleep. He asks me to sing him 5 songs and I also lay on the floor next to him bed until he falls sleep. I hope this will get better really soon. I don't mind the singing and laying next to him, it's the screaming and crying at bed time that I want to stop. He know's it's coming, why fight it? 

Kai's first 2 weeks were pretty good! He slept good during the day and did a decent job at night. He was feeding every 2 hours during the day and every 3.5-4 hours at night. After the 2 weeks, that boy started to show his true colors and did not want to sleep at night. He played us! He now feeds every 2 hour during the day and during the night. Lately he seems to have a hard time with passing gas but I think it has something to do with what I might've eaten. I am just going to monitor what I eat. Kai has also been doing good developmentally. I am excited to see him grow. He is also getting his color! I think he may end up being light skin. Right now he is red.

As for my breastmilk right now, it has been coming in nicely. I have been eating the extra calories and drinking plenty of water. I am also making sure not to eat allergy prone foods. The lactation consult from the hospital mentioned that. It will help keep Kai from being colic. We did not have to deal with a colic baby before and I am hoping for this time to be the same. I have heard some horror stories about it. I plan to make protein smoothies that are similar to the smoothies from Planet Smoothie. I have added more fruits and veggies to my diet and just eating better overall. I have been staying away from coffee this time around too. I only ever drink one cup a day anyways but I just want to make sure I get as much water as I can. My goal is to drink 128oz a day. So far I have been doing really good with it. 

Overall, the first month has just a been a whole mixture of emotions from all of us. The plan for month 2 is just to get out as much as possible. We all need it. I also plan to get back to having dance parties with Alrick and continue working with him on his reading and writing. He also likes to do the kid workouts, so he will be doing that again as well. We all just have to take it day by day and celebrate the accomplishments whether they are big or small.